Screwing Up and Taking Names

Hi again! Getting sick of me yet? I haven’t written this much in a while- but a lot has been happening. I always tell my family when they ask about a new post “If I want to write about it, I have to live it first.” Well I’ve been doing a lot of living, and I’m about to tell you guys the whole story.  So I promised when I first started this adventure that one of the things I’d be doing was going on a bunch of bad dates. And I’ve been slacking on that promise- whether it was because I was waiting for Jerry to pop up and confess…

Have you ever thought about what your life would look like from someone else’s perspective? Ever considered what people would think if they could watch your day as if they were watching a movie? Well I have.. and it’s more of a blooper reel than a feature film. But since I have absolutely no talent with a camera, and since I love nothing more than to embarrass myself, I’ve decided to describe what a typical day is like for Sheila and I, so that you can get a good laugh at our expense, and get a better idea of what an average, every-day series of screw-ups might look like. So…

It’s rare that Sheila and I allow anyone else into our inner circle. Not for lack of trying, it just doesn’t usually happen. So since I’ve moved into my van, it’s mainly been a one-woman show. But this past week, that all changed. So who could possibly have been so lucky? Was it a guy? Jerry, maybe? Oh no. Nothing has changed there. But my automotive version of a house guest was much, much better than that. My sister came to visit.  My sister and I are extremely close. It’s just the two of us, and although we weren’t always the best of friends growing up, as she has gotten…

Were you worried I somehow got myself eaten by a bear in Montana?? If you say yes, you’re very sweet- now stop lying. Well I managed to make it out alive, but I owe this in part to the fact that I (1) did not see a bear from closer than half a mile, and (2) didn’t actually go to Montana. Although I do now begrudgingly admit that bears exist. So where was I, and why haven’t I written in weeks? I’ll tell you the whole story, but to preface it, Sheila and I were stepping into entirely new territory for us. Sailing into uncharted waters. We were spending time..…

Nobody…? Alright, I don’t blame you. You know, living in a van definitely has its perks. It’s easily the best decision I’ve ever made. I love the lifestyle, I love the freedom, I love the unlimited potential every day has to offer. But as I stood in line at an Auto Zone today, 3-day-old dirt caked onto my leggings, dressed in my usual hobo-meets-middle-school-boy fashion, I realized that there is one very specific way that the van has reduced my quality of life.  Now believe me, I am definitely not a girl that can get what she wants by flipping her hair and showing a little cleavage. Mostly because I…

A few days ago I was sitting in Sheila’s front seat in a Transit Center parking lot, picking dirt out of my hair while eating a pepperoni taco, and something hit me. Not literally- even though I did getattacked by a bird on the sidewalk earlier that day (and I mean attacked- it chased me down the road trying to bite my head. I had to run away. I’m still traumatized). No, I had a realization. I looked down at my taco, then out the window at the families walking by on their way to dinner, and the bikers loading their gear into their trunks, then back down at my…

I’M ALIVE. Ok you’re probably wondering why I wouldn’t be.. that’s fair. The capital letters might be a little dramatic. BUT maybe they aren’t..? Tell you what, I’ll fill you in on the past two weeks, and then you tell me whether or not I’m crazy (be gentle).  So I know that in my very first post I promised this wouldn’t be a travel blog. And I’m occasionally a woman of my word. But.. on the other hand, I didn’t walk in a giant 173-mile circle through the woods, brave almost-dehydration, noises in the night that could have been either my sleeping bag or a woman-eating bear, and one extremely…

I’m sure you were able to figure this out the moment you read the title of my blog, but this is definitely not your typical van life forum. I don’t have any helpful tips/tricks, my van wasn’t designed by someone with the interior decorating budget of an entire house, and it took me an hour just to change my oil the other day. Somehow during that process I also ended up dumping about a quart of oil directly onto my face. Clearly I have no idea what I’m doing- in fact if anyone else has some constructive criticism I would happily listen. Emphasis on the word constructive. But one thing…

Hey, hey from Port Angeles, Washington. So from the title you can probably already guess what this entry is going to be about- yes, my most recent attempt at dating did in fact blow up in my face. Please feel free to say “I told you so” at any point- I’ve been saying it to myself ever since. Sheila’s probably even saying it. It sounds like a Diesel engine that needs an oil change, but really she’s saying “Caroline you asshole, you knew better than that.” Damn, she’s so smart sometimes.  But I want this entry to be more than just my most recent screw-up. I want it to actually…

Written 5/28/21- I’ve been majorly procrastinating Well its official- I am writing this entry from a Starbucks in San Francisco, California. Somehow Sheila and I got our butts all the way to the west coast without any major catastrophes (I’m sure those will come later so don’t be too disappointed). In case you were worried that I picked up a hitchhiker, I didn’t- Sheila is my van. It took me the entire year that I’ve owned her to come up with a fitting name, but finally, sitting in a Walmart parking lot in Iowa the other night, it came to me. Boom- Sheila. But why?  Well first, She can’t be…