Walmarts Across America

Written 5/28/21- I’ve been majorly procrastinating

Well its official- I am writing this entry from a Starbucks in San Francisco, California. Somehow Sheila and I got our butts all the way to the west coast without any major catastrophes (I’m sure those will come later so don’t be too disappointed). In case you were worried that I picked up a hitchhiker, I didn’t- Sheila is my van. It took me the entire year that I’ve owned her to come up with a fitting name, but finally, sitting in a Walmart parking lot in Iowa the other night, it came to me. Boom- Sheila. But why?  Well first, She can’t be a guy- I’m way too into the whole “girl power” thing at the moment to name her Steve or Stewart or something.  But mainly, she just reminds me of a Sheila. What do you think about when you hear the name Sheila? I think someone who’s a little out there, a little different (not any couple names their daughter Sheila), someone who has a little edge to them, a little bit of an attitude, maybe a little rough around the edges, smokes cigarettes outside a dive bar of Saturday nights, doesn’t always get it right, but she’s tougher than she looks. At least this is what I picture when I hear the name. But it also describes my van to a T.  So here we are- me and Sheila against the world. 

Luckily it wasn’t a particularly eventful trip across, but I did manage to get the grand tour of a few Walmarts across the country. The Trail of Walmarts, if you will. Route Walmart? The Walmart highway. It’s a working title. Alright well I slept at six Walmarts to be exact- but only 4,737 to go so I feel like I made some progress. In all honesty though, it seems like a smart move on their part to allow campers to park overnight- in the past week, I haven’t eaten anything, used any soap or other household product, or pee’d in any public bathroom that wasn’t from/in a Walmart. The last one might not be too lucrative for them but otherwise I can see the money-making potential. It’s not the most glamorous way to travel, but I’m cheap, and I’m not all that glamorous, so it fits well with my new lifestyle. I am now a Back-of-the-walmart-parking-lot type of girl. I’m sure my mom couldn’t be more proud.  

So now that I’ve driven all the way across the country to get a cup of coffee that I could have gotten at the South Portland Target, what’s next? I’ve been asking myself that question the whole way here, and I still have no idea. But every time I think “shit I have so idea what I’m doing” I literally laugh out loud to myself, because how beautiful is that?! I have absolutely no fucking clue what I’m doing! Because I have nothing that I have to do. Nowhere to be, no one to answer to. Just me and Sheila against the world. 

But there is one little detail I left out.. I’m meeting a guy out here. I know, shocking. And no, it’s not the reason I came to the west coast, but the timing worked out almost perfectly, and he’ll be in the area this afternoon, so we’re going to meet up and do some hiking, camping, etc. for a few days. Ok so I understand if you’re judging me right now… why am I starting out my new, independent life by bringing a guy along? And you could be totally right. It could be an awful idea- a complete and total disaster. But until it blows up in my face I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a lot of fun. So bear with me and stay tuned for this next adventure, because Sheila and I have some serious screwing up to do. 

“There are far better things ahead than we leave behind.” -C.S. Lewis (not me this time).