Oh, You Jump Off Cliffs? Well, I Hike…

I wrote much more serious versions of this post way too many times. I started them, scrapped them entirely, started over, and then finally I realized that I was just being way too serious- this blog is called Screwing Up and Taking Names, so instead of wallowing in my mistakes, I need to do a better job of owning them, learning from them, and taking some god damn names! So here it is. Those of you who have been following along from the beginning (basically my immediate family) know that there has been one “main character” in my dating life for the past few months- Jerry. Well, that is done. Essentially I put myself out there- I asked for the smallest bit of affirmation that he could see this working out- and I got nothing in return. I spent way too much time closing myself off to other potential relationships of any kind because I was waiting for a man who wasn’t giving me a second thought. But you live, you screw up, you laugh at how serious you were taking the whole situation, and then you get back on the horse (or in my case, the dating app). I didn’t think anything would come of it- I just expected to go out and have a couple drinks, put myself back out there, and finally move on from someone I admittedly had spent way too much time caring about. But, as with most things in life, the end of something I had thought was so good turned out to be a path leading to something much better. 

Man, I’m running out of fake names. But this is one guy who definitely deserves one. So let’s call him.. Phil. Phil is, to put it simply, a badass. He is a rock climbing, mountain biking, and canyoneering guide in Southern Utah, who also BASE jumps in his free time. What?? And on top of all that, he is an incredibly down to earth, easy-going, kind person- a combination that is really unfair to the rest of us, but that I’m certainly not complaining about. Now, obviously I’m not a dare devil- I just went camping for the first time two years ago. But I’m trying to break out of my comfort zone, and over the last two weeks I did just that. Phil and I hit it off instantly, and he took me hiking, mountain biking, and let me tag along on a couple of his base jumps. I offered to wait at the bottom to catch him, but I guess that’s not exactly how base jumping works..

But the amazing thing was that not only did I hit it off with Phil, but I also hit it off with his friends. In particular, this past weekend, Phil and I drove up to Moab so that he could meet up with three friends, and they could all climb a desert tower and then proceed to jump off of it. I was hesitant- first because I didn’t think I had the upper body strength to catch all four of them, but in addition, to say that I’m “not a people person” is a large understatement. And if I don’t vibe with someone, I am incredibly awkward and quiet. So naturally I wondered what Phil’s friends would be like- would I have anything in common with them, or would I turn into a mute and add unnecessary awkwardness to the group? But as soon as we met up with the three guys, I knew I had nothing to worry about. These were my kind of people. They were quirky, a little awkward, funny, easy-going, and all had a certain type of comfortable personality that I can’t say enough good things about- pretty much the guy versions of me (kidding). So the five of us set out to tackle their climbing/jumping mission before sunrise the next morning- me doing literally nothing essential, but tagging along because, like any child whose friends are all going to do something fun, I simply refused to be left behind. So we hiked to the base of the tower, about an hour of very steep terrain that ended in the saddle next to the giant rock formation. The guys left from there, and I hiked back down with a couple empty packs and some extra unnecessary supplies. But, still not wanting to be out of the loop, I continued to hike a little ways up a dirt road to a place where, shockingly, I could see the tiny outlines of their four bodies starting to make their way up the tower. I sat in the middle of the desert landscape for hours watching them climb, and listening to their communications, which echoed crystal clear from the tower down into the valley where I was posted up with my backpacks. I was mesmerized. I had never seen anyone climb before outside of a gym, and even that was something I hadn’t seen very often. Hours went by, and I still just sat and watched, getting up only to pee or make sure any noise I heard wasn’t some strange desert animal hunting me down. On one particular search for desert animals, I heard a yell, and turned around to see that they had made it to the top of the tower. Then, as I watched in awe, one by one, three of the guys jumped off, opened their parachutes and landed safely in the desert. The fourth guy would be repelling down with the climbing gear and hiking back to the parking lot. 

Everyone on the tower was cheering, and I found myself cheering too as I watched all three guys flying through the air. It was an incredible moment. We all hiked back to the parking lot, dropped their gear, had a quick beer, and then hiked most of the way back up to the saddle to meet the fourth friend, realizing that the amount of gear he had to carry was far too much for one person. And we were glad we did when we saw him with three backpacks on, two huge coils of rope around his neck, and a bunch of other climbing gear that I can’t identify by name hanging from his waist. We all took some gear, hiked back to the parking lot, and met for dinner later that night. After one more attempt at a jump the following morning, where I again hiked up with the three guys who were the “jumpers” ( I just made that up, that’s not a technical term.. I don’t think), but also hiked down with all three because of high wind gusts, we all went our separate ways, only Phil and I left in Moab. 

We planned to spend a quiet night at a campground, maybe build a fire, and then Phil would take off the next morning. But as we sat at our campsite, I could tell he had something on his mind. Finally he came out with it: “I don’t want to come all the way to Moab for just one epic jump. Would you mind if we camped in the parking lot, and tried that second jump again in the morning?” Thinking that I could easily catch just Phil, I agreed, and we jumped into our cars and drove to the trailhead of the cliff they had attempted earlier that morning.

Thinking that was it for the night, I was getting the van ready to go to sleep when I heard Phil yell form the parking lot. “Yeah?!” I stuck my head out of the van to see him standing across the lot with two other people I had never seen before. “Can you bring a flashlight over here?!” He yelled, so I grabbed my phone, turned the flashlight on, and met what turned out to be two other base jumpers, whose three friends were attempting to jump off another cliff in the same area, but needed help seeing the landing area in the almost-dark. We each stood at one corner of what became a roughly-outlined landing area, and as two mountain bikers with bright lights rode by, we stopped them and they helped light up the area even more. As it turns out, Phil had done some base jumping with one of the jumpers, and after they landed safely, we all had a couple beers in the parking lot. Much to my amazement, not only were these guys (and one girl) all complete badasses, all five of them were also incredibly easy-going, and I clicked with all of them instantly, too. Laying in the van later that night with Phil, I brought it up. “Well,” he said, “most people who base jump are pretty awesome. It’s a small community of really good people.” And that’s when it clicked. While he was completely right, it wasn’t just a phenomenon that was limited to base jumping. The same concept applied to backpacking, and probably any other niche sport where you maybe need to be a little crazy, or at least a little out-there, to enjoy it. It takes a certain type of person to love what some people call “type 2 fun,” and those are the kind of people that I want to spend time with. Not only are they inspirational as hell, but they are also just weird enough for me to really enjoy their company without getting quiet or awkward. Maybe it wasn’t that I’m “not a people person”- maybe it was just that I had to go to some crazy places and do some crazy things to find my kind of people. 

I don’t plan on jumping off of or out of anything in the near (or probably distant) future- I’m more of the “really, really long walk in the woods” type. But what I did take away from this trip to Moab was that my people are out there. All of ours are. You just have to figure out where to look. And in my case, I’m going to continue looking in the weirdest, most unconventional places- because that’s where I seem to belong. And as for Phil, I’m meeting him in Phoenix in a few days.. so stay tuned. 

“You must be willing to leave the life that you planned in order to find the one waiting for you.” -Joseph Campbell